Sunday, June 14, 2009
Broke a nail on the 5th while I was chopping chicken. Painful stuff. Or maybe I'm just a wuss. I discovered that I cannot stand the sight of my own blood because when this little accident happened I almost blacked out. HAHA. I had my finger under running water and when I took it out I was like "OMG that's a lot of blood" and all these black spots started appearing in my field of vision and I started swaying. So much for being strong. I shouldn't call myself a girl seh, cannot take a bit of blood when it visits me from down under every month.
My cousin was telling me that I was being a brat when I was semi-conscious because when she sat me down and gave me water I refused and demanded for F&N Cherry.
Had the shock of my life on the night prior to my 19th. HAHAHA. I loved it! Thank you thank you thank you! The funniest thing (aside from K making me do stupid things while I was blindfolded) was the fact that H scarfed down all of my birthday lasagne (cooked malay style, I like) because he didn't want to bring it home. HAHAHAHAHA. And it's not like the pot is small know! The lasagne was like in this damn humongous piece of crockery your mother usually puts her rice in for family dinner! AMAZING.
For once I don't even mind putting up my selekeh sweating-and-stinking-at-work face on the www because A and H came down on my day! Heeeeeeee. She baked me chocolate muffins!!! And gave me the best thoughtful present ever. Seriously you have no idea how special it was to have my favourite people together with me on my birthday. I'm so blessed.
Got my first Tiffany from Bakim! :D Love itttttttttttttt guhhhhhhh gushgushgush I so sayang my brother(s) seh. It goes beyond the expensive present. Having brothers who look out for you and would pick you up in the middle of the night no matter where you are and would pull you out of the deepest of shits and give you a shoulder to cry on when you need it... it's priceless.
HAHAHAHAHA I got an iPhone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OMGZZZ I absolutely love my family. Padehal my dad was like super pissed at me just last week before he went overseas know! And when he came back he was all like, "I'm gonna give you something shocking later" and I got all WORRIED. And later when he passed me this brick-like package and I opened it I friggin' SCREAMED. Like a lunatic. HAHAHAHA. I'm becoming such a girl.
Still. The best present ever. (Okay, aside from my precious new iPhone. HAHA! ;) )
Sunday, May 31, 2009
"Do I dare
Disturb the universe?
In a minute there is time
For decisions and revisions which a minute will reverse."- TS Eliot, The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock
Thursday, May 21, 2009
- Highlighted my hair for the first time. Noob yes I know but I love it.
- Missing my bff.
- Still enjoying life in a bohemian, avoiding-reality kind of way.
- Which makes me wonder when something bad is going to befall me, since I'm having such a good time for now.
- Balik kampong-ing later today for a couple of days.
- Am gonna be crazy busy next week.
- Gossip Girl season finale made me smile uncontrollably for DAYS. HAHA. (H + A pls watch I need to gush)
- From an acquaintance's entry: "though words are affirmative, little unspoken gestures are the stuff that move mountains."
- Had a good night.
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Speaking of goals, I've been trying to study. But this self-discipline thing is harder than I thought. Amazing how a few months away from school can turn me into an even more lazy person. Also amazing how rapidly my command of the English language has deteriorated. I have to make a conscious effort to check my grammar now. Horrifying.
I am also supposed to find my "identity". I don't see what's wrong with who I am now. Obviously a few tweaks and improvements are in order but still. I know who I am. And there's absolutely nothing wrong with being a chameleon. Or a blank piece of paper. It means I can be whatever I want to be, I can change instantly, I can turn into someone you think I'm not. This may sound strange, maybe even kind of sinister, but I like that about myself. It's like a certain pliable quality that's difficult to master. But then again I guess that makes me a drifter. And drifting is bad because then you cannot find any "anchorage" or "sense of self". Don't you just love Literature Paper 5.
But I guess... I guess it is time for me to start anchoring myself onto something more... whole? Something secure. Something I can believe in. Time to return to God. It's almost funny how God can be such a huge and omniscient presence in your life, yet it's so easy to forget Him at times when you feel like you don't direly need Him. That's like the epitome of taking things for granted. So yeah. Conscious effort, conscious effort!! Guh.
This grey area between childhood and adulthood. I don't want to leave it yet.
Monday, April 06, 2009
Saturday, March 21, 2009
Yet only the cowardly disappear. We are terrified of the future. We bury our secrets deep within our past. And what we fear most is ourselves: we the flawed beasts who look at our reflections and see monsters residing deep within our souls. We refuse to face up to ourselves. So like nomads we wander into the lives of different people, each time reinventing ourselves, always trying to believe that who we would like to be is who we really are. Then we become careless and start to reveal bits and pieces of ourselves and start to wonder what is real and what is fake? and begin to let ourselves be unravelled by the other party then freak out and in a state of... what? Paranoia? Panic? Sheer terror? We run.
Aiya I'm getting a little too old for my emo pants.
Friday, March 20, 2009
- Family friends from Perak are staying over for a few days. I am a little disappointed that thet don't have that coolass Northern M'sian accent.
- Everybody and their mom has asked this, but if you don't yet know results sucked and I am retaking.
- Strangely, I don't actually mind. I'm not even in denial, it's amazing.
- I do, however, mind people who keep ASKING about results. Come on, that was so 2 weeks ago.
- Been working like crazy at the shop, but am enjoying it.
- I've actually been really enjoying myself lately.
- Will start mugging again (*groan*) on Monday and this time I WILL NOT SCREW THIS UP. I love physics. I do, I do.
- Sleeping pattern is WARPED now.